28 Dec

The Medicine Chest

Posted by jaysaint in Uncategorized.

I’m not sure when this appeared on my nightstand.

Mah Pills

That’s seven pills on my agenda. Let’s explore them.

1. The patriotic painkiller — red, white and blue Extra-strength Tylenol

These are on the menu since the day, about a week ago, when I problem-solved my inability to reach the top half of the white board in my office by standing on a tiny chair. My unorthodox dismount, what some people might call “falling ass over teakettle,” ended with me landing hard on my backside right on the wooden edge of the chair. I am still paying for it daily, in what I think is a cracked or badly bruised tailbone. Holy cow, that is no joke.

2. The gaggers — fish oil capsules

These will lessen my chance of heart disease. Or maybe Alzheimer’s. I think Dr. Oz wants me to take them. I take two every evening. Except for the night where I only take one because Alden has taken the other one by gnawing it into a pulp and then swallowing the lot. This can only be good for him, right?

3. The one I always drop on the white carpet — cetirizine, the allergy pill no doctors seem to recognize even though it’s the generic of Zyrtec.

This is the only one that I absolutely need to take every day, living here in the allergy capital of the US. I do forget sometimes, and pay an immediate price.

4. The speckled hen’s egg — either a multivitamin or a prenatal vitamin.

I mixed them together ages ago to save space and now I can’t remember which is which. I just shake the jar and take what pops to the top.

5. Beige and dusty — Brewer’s Yeast

This one keeps me from getting fleas. I bought them for my dearly departed Darby cat years ago. I have no idea if they really helped, but he loved them. I used them as treats. I found them recently in the back of the medicine cabinet and offered them to our new rotten cats. They declined. So now I take them because I don’t know what else to do with them. And I definitley don’t want fleas.

 

25 Dec

Merry Christmas!

Posted by jaysaint in Alden, Elliot.

Wishing your family a warm holiday with no sketchy Santas.

21 Dec

Oedipus at Our House

Posted by jaysaint in Alden.

Last night Alden said, “I’m going to take Daddy’s ring.” He explained that would make him married to me. He’s a sort of Gollum/Oedipus combo these days.

Poor Alden can’t understand how his only girl, his mom, can have three dudes in her immediate orbit. It’s so unfair. Poor Damon can’t understand why his eldest son can be such a turkey sometimes.

While we’ve always tilted a little bit in the “Mommy do it!” direction, things got pretty pronounced there for a while. Even on the hallowed ground of Disney World, there was no peace to be made. I called my mom to break the news that only one of them was coming back and she just said, “Oh, he’s Oedipal right on schedule.” Which was some much needed perspective, and also kind of rhymes.

Understanding the why always helps with the what, and tensions decreased almost immediately. Damon and Alden are buddies again, dedicating afternoons to the monster truck dinosaur ball game. The whole bad business actually left a charming afterglow. Now Alden likes to end his days by telling me the various ways he loves me — “a million”, “to the moon” — and that I am “the sweetest girl” and “so kind.” He puts his hand on my cheek and tells me we will stay together forever. And I say, “Yes. We will.”  Every once in a while he will wake me up in the middle of the night to say, “Mommy, can you turn so I can see you? I love to look at your face.” Gah! I cannot resist! When he asks if we can get married, I tell him we can. By the time he is old enough to call my bluff I suspect these days of uncritical adoration will be long over. From his side, anyway.

19 Dec

Sunday Dinner: Salmon Salad

Posted by jaysaint in Alden wouldn't eat it, Sunday Dinner.

Things I’ll make from scratch:

— bread

— pasta sauce

— cake

Not that I do #s 1 and 3 regularly, but I can make a good argument. It’s cheaper and the end result is both customized to your tastes and more delicious than what you buy.

Things that make no sense to make from scratch:

— pasta

— granola

— cheese and yogurt

You can do those things to enjoy the process, but I’m hard pressed to see any practical benefit. I know there’s the whole cult of unpasteurized dairy lovers out there, but I’ve never tried it so I live on in ignorance.

Today I added roasted peppers to the second list.

I will grant that they are better than what I buy in a jar. A little bit. They would have to be damn near miraculous to justify all the charring and bagging and peeling and nonsense. Roasted peppers from a jar are delish, and I can eat the whole jar faster than I can peel one pepper. Does this have something to do with my skill level? Certainly. But that’s what I have to work with.

What all this has to do with the recipe of the day is that it’s the “salad” portion of the salmon salad, which is not at all what I was expecting. The salmon part was just a very basic rub — cayenne and cumin — on a piece of grilled fish. I guess the peppers got thrown in to make this an actual recipe.

This is another one of those funky little cards chucked into the recipe folder. Do I think my Dad ever made this? No. But if I start trying to categorize the recipes by their likeliness I will never come back out of that wormhole. So if it’s in the folder, it’s on the agenda.

Note that the card tells us about ancient Chinook rituals surrounding their salmon catch. Very interesting and more edifying than the actual recipe.

Recipe #16: Salmon Salad

Also this week

Recipe #17: Simple Mushroom Saute and Rustic Pasta from Boulder Locavore

5 Dec

Advice for New Parents

Posted by jaysaint in Uncategorized.

I make it a point not to add to the pile of unsolicited advice new parents get, even though I have access to a fascinating focus group of two. I stick to as many facts as I can, responding only to direct questions.

(Confidential to the woman who followed me and a newborn Alden down the street to repeatedly insist I put a hat on him: I still hate you.)

I’m thinking more about this lately since my friend S is about to have a baby. What can I tell her that is guaranteed to be useful? So far I’ve got two things I believe to be universally true.

1. When your kid is being a demon, post some photos of her — sweet or sour — to Facebook. You’ll get an instant gratification burst when people comment on the cute-itude. Sometimes you need help to see your kids in a better light.

2. Toys that make electronic noise? Good luck banishing those. Would you like to hear how that went for me? What? You can’t hear me over the singing toolbox? Some of them have volume control. Look carefully for that switch. For those that don’t, put a small piece of duct tape over the speaker. It will mute the blooping and screeching into something a little less sanity challenging.

That’s all I’ve got. Seriously. Parenting is a series of shocks and amazements for me. If anyone else has some universal truths I would love to hear them.

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