I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and she told me this story about a young woman (who was just dumped by a boyfriend of three years) I know:

She’s got this new boyfriend who she’s been dating for two months, and they’re very much in love. He’s French and in NY working. He’s married, with a three year old. He lives with his wife and kid, but his wife “doesn’t talk to him anymore.” And he “loves [name redacted] more than anything in the world.”

On one hand, the friend who was telling me this clearly was uncomfortable with it. On the other hand, she remained hopeful that it would be okay. The boyfriend is telling this girl that the wife will probably move back to France without him. And maybe they are really over in everything but the legal details.

And, high horse about the morality of the choice aside, I kept saying, “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s one in a string of mistresses and she’ll eventually be rotated out. He’s a cheater and a loser and I’m prepared to bet lots and lots of money she winds up miserable.” I base this on the idea that this young woman is not viewing this as a fling, but as a relationship. And I can’t believe that she’s kidding herself so deeply that she’s calling this guy her boyfriend.

I’m not coming at this from a holier-than-thou place. I feel sorry for her, and while I haven’t made that particular bad choice in my life I’ve made other ones. So I’ll put my first stone down. But I can’t stop rolling my eyes.


4 responses to this post.

  1. I don’t think you can call that attitude cynical. I mean what would the optimistic side of this be – that she’ll wind up living happily ever after with another woman’s husband who would of course be faithful to her exclusively…unless she stops talking to him?
    Optimistic and caring is to get excited for her when he bothers to get the legal details taken care of, a sign that he’s got some respect for both these women he’s humiliating, and remain dubious until then.
    Plus…he’s French. They used to make bad tv movies like this.


  2. I don’t think you’re being cynical. I think you’re being realistic.


  3. You’re talking about me, aren’t you.
    He loves me, and I don’t care what you think.


  4. Damn, I thought my crafty gender swap would inject mystery. Sorry. He does love you. He told me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: