Ovulation is rolling around and all the lights are green, so we’re making our first attempt out of three allowed to us by my gyno before we go back to her and she does… whatever it is she’s going to do.
I feel optimistic, now that I know that my uterus is “tipped” and how to accomodate that.
I’ve been pretty calm about the whole affair, even though we’ve been trying for a while now. I talk to women who tell me they were panicking after two or three months of trying, and we’re well past that. But if we go past two tries now I think I’m think some of the seams are going to start to show. I believe another friend to be trying now and, while I’m not proud of this, I know if she winds up knocked up before I do I’m (privately) going to be upset. Not so upset that I won’t be genuinely thrilled for her. But upset.
jaysaint 
Posted by travellight on April 10, 2006 at 1:28 am
I believe another friend to be trying now and, while I’m not proud of this, I know if she winds up knocked up before I do I’m (privately) going to be upset. Not so upset that I won’t be genuinely thrilled for her. But upset.
You know (and I’ll say my Livejournal got highjacked if this comes up), I feel the same way when one of my single friends becomes paired up. I’m a nice person, dammit! I’m cute and funny and pretty smart and I know my Mayan numeral system! Pick me! Pick me!
So why I told you that is that I think you’re cool and good, and if that makes you a schmuck, then there’s no hope for me.
Posted by travellight on April 10, 2006 at 1:28 am
I believe another friend to be trying now and, while I’m not proud of this, I know if she winds up knocked up before I do I’m (privately) going to be upset. Not so upset that I won’t be genuinely thrilled for her. But upset.
You know (and I’ll say my Livejournal got highjacked if this comes up), I feel the same way when one of my single friends becomes paired up. I’m a nice person, dammit! I’m cute and funny and pretty smart and I know my Mayan numeral system! Pick me! Pick me!
So why I told you that is that I think you’re cool and good, and if that makes you a schmuck, then there’s no hope for me.
Posted by steakums on April 10, 2006 at 12:58 pm
I agree (not that you’re a schmuck) – I think it’s normal to have those feelings. Lord knows I had them when we were trying.
Posted by jaysaint on April 11, 2006 at 3:03 am
Thank you. Both my friends who are pregnant now (one of whom is you, of course) have been so mature and smart about the whole thing that sometimes I wonder if I’m being unreasonable.
Posted by jaysaint on April 11, 2006 at 2:23 am
Thank you. I feel just fine if I’m in the same boat as you.
I think sometimes we’re victims of our own capabilities. We can make most things we want happen, thank-you-very-much. So when something with a huge element of luck (finding a mate, making a baby) becomes something we desire we’re outraged when our will combined with our excellent qualities isn’t enough to get us to the promised land. At least I could swear someone promised us a mate and a baby at some point.
Posted by steakums on April 10, 2006 at 12:58 pm
I agree (not that you’re a schmuck) – I think it’s normal to have those feelings. Lord knows I had them when we were trying.
Posted by electricrocket on April 11, 2006 at 1:04 am
The real gyp of it all is you spend all those years vaguely worrying about if you’re effectively avoiding being pregnant, paranoid you’re one of those uber-fertile people whose innate biological reproductive drive is so strong as to overcome any measly countermeasures you might throw in the way.
And then, when it comes down to brass tacks, it ain’t so simple.
I’ve heard you only have about a 20% chance of hitting the jackpot in any given month, even with a headwind. So in any given month, you’re in good company with 80% of the attempting population if the swimmers don’t make the target.
Posted by electricrocket on April 11, 2006 at 1:04 am
The real gyp of it all is you spend all those years vaguely worrying about if you’re effectively avoiding being pregnant, paranoid you’re one of those uber-fertile people whose innate biological reproductive drive is so strong as to overcome any measly countermeasures you might throw in the way.
And then, when it comes down to brass tacks, it ain’t so simple.
I’ve heard you only have about a 20% chance of hitting the jackpot in any given month, even with a headwind. So in any given month, you’re in good company with 80% of the attempting population if the swimmers don’t make the target.
Posted by jaysaint on April 12, 2006 at 12:02 am
20%!? I thought that was IVF. I thought it was more like 40%. Sigh.
Posted by jaysaint on April 11, 2006 at 2:23 am
Thank you. I feel just fine if I’m in the same boat as you.
I think sometimes we’re victims of our own capabilities. We can make most things we want happen, thank-you-very-much. So when something with a huge element of luck (finding a mate, making a baby) becomes something we desire we’re outraged when our will combined with our excellent qualities isn’t enough to get us to the promised land. At least I could swear someone promised us a mate and a baby at some point.
Posted by jaysaint on April 11, 2006 at 3:03 am
Thank you. Both my friends who are pregnant now (one of whom is you, of course) have been so mature and smart about the whole thing that sometimes I wonder if I’m being unreasonable.
Posted by jaysaint on April 12, 2006 at 12:02 am
20%!? I thought that was IVF. I thought it was more like 40%. Sigh.