Golf Car Christmas

My mom and stepdad live in a gated community where they all drive around in golf carts. While we are reasonably proximal to the beach and to Disney World, all I ever want to do while I’m here is drive around in the electric golf cart. I can’t explain it, but there it is. We’ve been here for a week and I’ve agreed to every suggested activity by saying, “That’s fine with me, as long as we can drive there in the golf cart.” I’m sad to report, though, that it seems to be experiencing some mechanical difficulties. When mom, Damon and I were out the other day the battery started to die and Damon had to get out and push us up three different hills before we got home. Two were crazy steep. Thank goodness he goes to the gym.

Even aside from the golf cart hijinx, it’s been a pretty nice vacation. Last year I gave my mom the Oprah 20th anniversary CD collection. This year I found it still unopened in her office. So I broke it out and forced her to sit through at least one a day until we got them all done. This year I gave her a Nintendo DS Lite. She loves to play games, and sits in her little office on an uncomfortable chair so that she can. So I thought I could liberate her. I’m sure next year I will find it still wrapped up in her office and I will have to break out the games I gave her and force her to play them for an hour a day. She will enjoy her gifts if I have to cram them down her throat.

Damon and I got some good loot. Most sweet was a lovingly-constructed album from our wedding. We also got a stack of books, salad hands, jewelry, panties (a tradition), fun t-shirts and random other goodies. Damon gave me books by Alton Brown and Cesar Milan to put next to my Jon Stewart book, thus completing my Basic Cable Boyfriends collection. Does he get me or what?

This morning I read about how to pan sear a steak I would never eat and how to give exercise, discipline and affection to a dog we don’t have.

We’re down to our last 24 hours in Florida, which means we’re all feeling a little tense. My mom gets a touch upset and clingy when we leave. I respond by withdrawing. And she responds to that by moving even more aggressively into my space. It’s a dance we do all the time and neither one of us is smart enough to head it off.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday, got and gave some good loot, and ate more than can be considered reasonable. We’ll be in the air this time tomorrow and back home (I hope) by dark.


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