Happy Post or Sad Post

I can’t decide. I’ll start with the happy stuff, because it’s much harder to reverse the other way. Although in general I take my bad news first.

I got back into town from our national sales meeting last night about midnight. We spent most of the week camped out at The Four Seasons in Palm Beach. Not bad. Yesterday I was bobbing around in the ocean. It’s hard to beat that. My coworkers were fun to be with and the meetings actually felt productive.

Here’s the best part: They had a surprise activity for us, and asked us to wear white. I immediately said, “We must be playing croquet. Whites are for tennis and croquet and I seriously doubt they’re going to make us play tennis in our sandals.” The assistant in charge of all the details blanched so hard that I a) knew I was right and b) felt badly for saying it. It will surprise no one to hear that the National Croquet Club is located in Palm Beach. It was a full-on Gatsby afternoon. They’d cleared out the place for us (there were nearly 40 of us total). The national croquet champion did a demonstration for us while starchy waiters brought us lemonades and pink wine. So anyway, after our demonstration they put us in random teams of two and started a tournament. It will surprise everyone to hear that my partner and I took the whole thing! I just… still can’t believe it. And I wasn’t even the lame partner, I was scoring wickets all over the place. I even got a really fancy medal, which I wore for the rest of the day. I was ridiculously excited, as I kept insisting, “I do not win sports things!” Now I know croquet is a sport like putt putt is a sport. But I still won. I can see my medal from where I sit typing.

So now am I home, and home is where I heard the sad news. I’ll be a bit vague if I can, but it’s hard. A friend who just (like three months ago) had twins, complete with long bed rest and serious post C section complications just found out the her husband has had a 22-year-old girlfriend for the duration of her bed rest and the relationship continues. It’s horrible and ugly. My heart was racing as she told me the whole atrocious story. She seems to have little hope their marriage will recover, and her heart is clearly broken. She’s incredibly tough and I know she’s been calling down the wrath of the heavens on him, but she can’t make him a better man. For him it’s the whole can’t-grow-up impending fatherhood crisis. He told her he only cooperated with their years of grueling fertility treatments because she wanted it.

I don’t even have it in me to type more. She’s so blindsided. She says she thought they were best friends, that he would never in a million years do something like this. I remember making similar protestations of faith about my ex husband, who turned out to be a liar extraordinaire. I sat in my office this morning saying, “Damon would never. Damon would never.” And I’m right. He would never. But it’s still chilling.

So I probably should have made that two posts. But that’s my day.

Advertisements

42 responses to this post.

  1. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  2. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  3. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  4. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  5. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  6. I’m so sorry your friend is going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out that your husband is not even half the man you thought he was. Infidelity is the ugliest thing you can do to your spouse, and by telling her that he just went along with it all because she wanted it, he’s probably made her feel even more alone. He’s a monster.

    Reply

  7. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  8. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  9. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  10. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  11. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  12. Your friend’s husband is a dog.
    But I bet you looked really cute all decked out in white! Pictures?

    Reply

  13. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  14. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  15. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  16. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  17. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  18. Ugh, that’s horrible. Infidelity is always bad, but those circumstances are among the worst.

    Reply

  19. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  20. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  21. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  22. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  23. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  24. Ugh.
    A friend of mine from high school just found out in the past couple weeks that her husband of 17 years (they were married after freshman year of college) has been cheating on her with multiple women over the last couple years.
    They have a couple preteen boys, and they are (or, in hindsight, she is) deeply religious. Their fathers were each ministers, and she and her husband even started a church together a long while back. So, you’ve got religious hypocrisy on top of the garden variety infidelity. Ugly.
    She was totally blindsided, though they’d had issues where he spent a too much time (read: any) checking out porn.
    The one time I was cheated on, I had all sorts of signs; I’ve never been blindsided.

    Reply

  25. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  26. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  27. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  28. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  29. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  30. I guarantee you that the biggest fear in Damon’s life is that he might ever do anything to hurt or disappoint you. I wish I could put money on it. He’s a good man and its the kind of thing that a good man is vigilant against. He would not be able to abide himself.
    Be there for your friend, but there’s no need to worry about that ever happening in your marriage.

    Reply

  31. I did look cute! They had a photographer there, so I’m hoping they’ll send us some photos.

    Reply

  32. Thank you. He IS a good man and I agree with you. But it is always nice to hear.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: