Spoiling for a Fight

There has been a flurry of activity around here from 11 last night until just about an hour ago. At least for me. Inside my head. It wasn’t as distressing as it might normally be, since I knew that I could steal some extra sleep today. Here’s a quick guide to last night:

1. Complain complain complain about being unable to get comfortable before finally exhausting myself and falling asleep.
2. Hear a massive “clang” that wakes me up, which my lizard brain perceives as someone yanking on our fire escape.
3. Half dream that our super (who our board has fired and is trying to evict) is on our fire escape, reaching through the window to unlock the gate.
4. Leap to my feet.
5. Meditate on a horrible news story we heard a few mornings ago that still isn’t far from my thoughts. I’m not even going to link it up, because I don’t wan to put it in anyone else’s brain. Comment if you’re dying to know.
6. Sit and hold on to Damon’s foot, hovering. Hoping he’ll wake up so I can tell him that if anything ever happens to me and our kids I would want him to go on and be happy. More satisfying melodrama would follow, except he is a lucky deep sleeper (or a smart faker) and his eyes never open.
7. Plan how I will beat the super if he tries to break in. I have no reason at all to think he would do that.
8. Sit out biggest nosebleed so far.
9. Grind teeth over the fact that no one is up posting fun new things on the internet to entertain me.
10. Go to my work site and moderate some annoying comments (more on that shortly).
11. Fall asleep again.
12. Dream that a playwright I know has written in his blog, “We based the character of The Banshee on Jillian. No offense, if you know her.”
13. Dream further that I get a press invite to the debut of aforementioned play and go prepared to deliver blistering personal attack on playwright.
15. Dream that the producers at work have added many unauthorized elements to my home page, all built in sideways.
16. Wake up absolutely ready to have a huge fight with someone. Even though I literally can’t remember the last time someone did something intentionally mean to me. Except in my dreams.

Damon was gone and no one called, so I guess I lost my chance to have a fight. I still feel prickly, but it’s ebbing.

My guess is that this was all helped along by the community that frequents my work site. Almost all of them are so so lovely. And then there are the ones who aren’t. I think a lot about how to properly moderate them. We’re a big site, so I don’t want to give the folks the feeling we won’t let them criticize us or express dissent. But that concern is sheltering a lot of bad apples. And I’ve had two different writers — lovely, sweet writers — attacked in this past month by hoards who don’t even normally come around. And that is really going to turn me into a fascist with a delete button.

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48 responses to this post.

  1. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

  2. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

    • Re: Just to indulge you…
      You suck, Katinsky!
      Thanks for the opening.
      I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

      Reply

    • Re: Just to indulge you…
      You suck, Katinsky!
      Thanks for the opening.
      I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

      Reply

    • Re: Just to indulge you…
      You suck, Katinsky!
      Thanks for the opening.
      I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

      Reply

    • Re: Just to indulge you…
      You suck, Katinsky!
      Thanks for the opening.
      I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

      Reply

    • Re: Just to indulge you…
      You suck, Katinsky!
      Thanks for the opening.
      I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

      Reply

  3. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

  4. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

  5. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

  6. Just to indulge you…
    You’re short and smell funny.
    BRING IT!!!

    Reply

  7. Re: Just to indulge you…
    You suck, Katinsky!
    Thanks for the opening.
    I would have had something much better if I’d checked in earlier. I’ve had two pieces of cake and now am having a hard time feeling anything but love. Maybe next time I’ll proactively attack you.

    Reply

  8. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

  9. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

    • Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
      As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

      Reply

    • Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
      As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

      Reply

    • Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
      As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

      Reply

    • Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
      As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

      Reply

    • Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
      As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

      Reply

  10. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

  11. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

  12. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

  13. Wowzer, am I glad I didn’t take your call*.
    *Heather and I took Scout speed walking so far up my beloved Rillito River Wash that I lost signal for a good hour or so. No, really! It’s good to be home πŸ™‚
    PS, naturally I want to know about that news story. Er, I think I do. You be the judge/censor.

    Reply

  14. Nah, I wouldn’t have called if I couldn’t be nice. I don’t tend to dial crabby.
    As I perceive you to be even more sensitive than I, I’m going to withhold the story. There’s not a “madman on the loose” element, but it’s just an awful murder and more story.

    Reply

  15. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

  16. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

    • Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

      Reply

      • Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
        I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

      • Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
        I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

      • Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
        I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

      • Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
        I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

      • Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
        I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

    • Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

      Reply

    • Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

      Reply

    • Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

      Reply

    • Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

      Reply

    • Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

      Reply

    • Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

      Reply

    • Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

      Reply

    • Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

      Reply

    • Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

      Reply

  17. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

  18. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

  19. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

  20. Oh, sweetie. Don’t stay awake in the middle of the night being miserable. Call Stacey.

    Reply

  21. Yes, I’m usually up and miserable myself – so the distraction would be a relief.

    Reply

  22. Or maybe I should call that editor I wanted to punch.

    Reply

  23. Oh no. Is Steakette keeping you up nights?
    I’ve figured out that about every third night I’m going to get a really nice sleep. That isn’t so much defined as not waking up. It’s more that I go back to sleep quickly and don’t feel like my hips are trying to separate from my body.

    Reply

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