jaysaint Getting it all down on paper…

A few weeks ago I reported that Elliot broke new and important ground.

“Mama” rode in on a wave of words. We’ve left behind parsing every syllable: “Was that ‘mmm’ for moo? I think he’s trying to say moo! We just drove past some cows. Seriously, I think he’s trying to say ‘Moo’!.” Now it’s more like: “Did I tell you he’s saying hippo? Well, hubbo anyway. He started a few days ago. Show him a Sandra Boynton book and he’ll do it. Super cute.”

Less, exciting, but still a relief.

I suppose I expected that when I told his therapist about this change she would proclaim him “normal.” I even fretted a little bit that he wouldn’t continue to qualify for services.

You parents who have been there may be thinking, “Oh dude, you are so kidding yourself.” Or maybe just, “I remember that.”

It’s a new phase, not for Elliot but for me. Denial and unrealistic expectations. I was hoping, perhaps all along, to be rewarded for my ready acceptance and can-do attitude by a complete reprieve within just months of our first diagnostic appointment.

I burbled out all my news about Elliot’s progress. After just a moment of happy response his therapist moved right into how quickly we could get him up to two appointments a week. Have you ever blurted out, “I think we should get married!” right as your beloved said, “We need to spend some time apart.” I have not (Thank you Baby Jesus.) but that’s about how far apart we were. I was disoriented, and it took a few minutes for my brain to catch up with my mouth.

I understand now (or rather I admit the possibility to myself) that Elliot isn’t going to progess in a linear way until he rings a bell and gets his pass to Normal Talker Town. Or maybe he will. I guess I can continue to admit that possibility too. I might also suffer some reversals, mis-perceive the process, throw out my gratitude for all our excellent help and instead stamp my feet about how we never wanted it in the first place