I wonder if I’ll ever stop being reactive about work. I’m thankful that I mask things masterfully. No one would ever know that after every meeting I walk out thinking, “XYZ person clearly hates me. I’ve been revealed as a fraud.” I go through this boring blah blah that’s really narcissistic. I’m sure my boss hates me, thinks I’m stupid, is sorry she hired me. She may have been singing my praises on Friday, but if she’s crabby on Monday… It’s like I’m four. It’s all about me.
It does help to have a small, warm cat in my lap looking up at me like I hung the moon
I went to the doctor today. My blood pressure is 90/60. My temperature is 97. It seems I’m barely alive.
Tomorrow we’re having a fake 9am meeting to eat bagels with my boss Jody because today was her birthday. I’m giving it 50/50 odds that she blows off the meeting since she doesn’t know it’s actually for her. The only thing that will get her there is that her boss is on the agenda.
We shall see shortly.
jaysaint 