Missed Opportunity

So in the midst of the tooth crisis, which I promise will begin to recede in my postings shortly, ovulation came and went. I spent my fertile days this month in a cloud of codeine. I’m disappointed, obviously.

I keep taking my emotional temperature as adoption becomes more of a possibility for us. So far I still feel fine about it. I have a little bit of concern that I can’t quite put my finger on. Something along the lines of people not viewing an internationally adopted baby (which is the choice we would likely make) as being as much ours. Not that I fear we would feel that way. But I wonder if there would be a slight dimming in the reaction of the people around us.

Of course in a few weeks we’ll be back to trying to get pregnant, so perhaps my tune will change. Except… I still think we might like to adopt if we choose to have a second kid.

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31 responses to this post.

  1. Not that I’ve ever adopted a child, but I think it has become so common now that most people don’t give it a second thought. And if they do, does it matter?

    Reply

  2. Not that I’ve ever adopted a child, but I think it has become so common now that most people don’t give it a second thought. And if they do, does it matter?

    Reply

    • You’re absolutely right that it does not matter.
      I’m just thinking of the two pregnant women in my office and how there’s such a great excitement building up around them. I’d hate to miss that.
      And yet if we do adopt I’m sure that the minute we got the kid I wouldn’t care about anything that happened leading up to that point.

      Reply

      • Not that this does you any good, as you are there and I am here, but I am one of those people who as soon as she knew you were getting a kid, no matter how you were getting it, would start making a big deal about it all the time. I am nearly child-like in my excitement over new children, and it’s really hard for me to wait until the arrival. It is all I can do not to pester the parents-to-be.
        So there you go. Here I am, one person who won’t be able to sit still no matter which way you do, or even how many times. I feel really compelled to bug Stacey, but I’m trying not to.

      • It does do me good, really. Because I’m the same way. I always tell my pregnant and parenting friends that truly, truly I never get tired of hearing about that stuff. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

      • I’ve seen plenty of excitement built around adopting a child – because really – the outcome is the same – you’re having a kid.
        If and when you all step off the plane with your new baby, I will be waiting in your apt. with a full-fledged baby shower in swing, my friend.

      • You’re such a super-star friend. Your cheerleading really does make a difference.

      • Eh…I just like throwing baby showers. πŸ™‚

      • Eh…I just like throwing baby showers. πŸ™‚

  3. You’re absolutely right that it does not matter.
    I’m just thinking of the two pregnant women in my office and how there’s such a great excitement building up around them. I’d hate to miss that.
    And yet if we do adopt I’m sure that the minute we got the kid I wouldn’t care about anything that happened leading up to that point.

    Reply

  4. Not that this does you any good, as you are there and I am here, but I am one of those people who as soon as she knew you were getting a kid, no matter how you were getting it, would start making a big deal about it all the time. I am nearly child-like in my excitement over new children, and it’s really hard for me to wait until the arrival. It is all I can do not to pester the parents-to-be.
    So there you go. Here I am, one person who won’t be able to sit still no matter which way you do, or even how many times. I feel really compelled to bug Stacey, but I’m trying not to.

    Reply

  5. I’ve seen plenty of excitement built around adopting a child – because really – the outcome is the same – you’re having a kid.
    If and when you all step off the plane with your new baby, I will be waiting in your apt. with a full-fledged baby shower in swing, my friend.

    Reply

  6. Since you were drugged up last round, can’t you take a make-up month?

    Reply

  7. Since you were drugged up last round, can’t you take a make-up month?

    Reply

    • Definitely. I mean, we won’t pull the plug and stop trying. It just means it will be time for tests, and it will be time for some serious, practical talks about adoption. It’s not something we can say for sure, but right now our inclination is to take a pass on any kind of fertility intervention.
      The punch line will be when we’re in the middle of adopting a kid when I turn up pregnant.

      Reply

      • The punch line will be when we’re in the middle of adopting a kid when I turn up pregnant.
        Isn’t that just way it usually happens?
        I just read an article that watching porn increases sperm count – so maybe you should add some naughty’s to your netflix list. πŸ™‚
        Ryan wants to know why I found this out after we stopped having kids…

      • Oh man, I wish Netflix offered naughty movies.
        You know, yours is such a science-friendly household. I think you should do some experiments just for pure learning.

      • Oh man, I wish Netflix offered naughty movies.
        You know, yours is such a science-friendly household. I think you should do some experiments just for pure learning.

      • PS — Damon is delighted with this information.

      • I’m here to help.

      • I’m here to help.

      • PS — Damon is delighted with this information.

      • The punch line will be when we’re in the middle of adopting a kid when I turn up pregnant.
        Isn’t that just way it usually happens?
        I just read an article that watching porn increases sperm count – so maybe you should add some naughty’s to your netflix list. πŸ™‚
        Ryan wants to know why I found this out after we stopped having kids…

  8. It does do me good, really. Because I’m the same way. I always tell my pregnant and parenting friends that truly, truly I never get tired of hearing about that stuff. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    Reply

  9. You’re such a super-star friend. Your cheerleading really does make a difference.

    Reply

  10. Definitely. I mean, we won’t pull the plug and stop trying. It just means it will be time for tests, and it will be time for some serious, practical talks about adoption. It’s not something we can say for sure, but right now our inclination is to take a pass on any kind of fertility intervention.
    The punch line will be when we’re in the middle of adopting a kid when I turn up pregnant.

    Reply

  11. The punch line will be when we’re in the middle of adopting a kid when I turn up pregnant.
    Isn’t that just way it usually happens?
    I just read an article that watching porn increases sperm count – so maybe you should add some naughty’s to your netflix list. πŸ™‚
    Ryan wants to know why I found this out after we stopped having kids…

    Reply

  12. Oh man, I wish Netflix offered naughty movies.
    You know, yours is such a science-friendly household. I think you should do some experiments just for pure learning.

    Reply

  13. PS — Damon is delighted with this information.

    Reply

  14. Eh…I just like throwing baby showers. πŸ™‚

    Reply

  15. I’m here to help.

    Reply

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