The Angry Days

Spotting today, and breaking out a bit.

So while I don’t have the definitive “no” yet, I know what it all means and suspect I’ll have it in a few days.

This is a particularly discouraging round, as it is literally the first time our attempt has been flawless. No illness, no mis-timing, right position every time, the lion was present… I had a superstitious belief that once we hit it just right we’d be rewarded. And of course that’s not logical, and not so.

I hate these days. I hate the few days when I know I’m not pregnant but my period hasn’t fully started and my temperature hasn’t dropped yet. As soon as I might possibly be fertile I live like I’m pregnant. And right now what I really want is a huge glass of wine or six, followed by sushi and sashimi and Ambien, Xanax and crack. But because there is still a small, small chance, that I know won’t come through, I will live like a nun for a few more days. But I will resent it.

I am tired of trying to get pregnant.

I’ll keep trying, and in a few short days (if not sooner) my good humor about it will be fully restored. But not tonight. Tonight I am tired of trying to get pregnant.

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21 responses to this post.

  1. Not that it helps any, but I’m tired of trying not to get pregnant.
    Not that it’s such a stretch, what with all that free-floating sperm in my atmosphere.

    Reply

  2. Not that it helps any, but I’m tired of trying not to get pregnant.
    Not that it’s such a stretch, what with all that free-floating sperm in my atmosphere.

    Reply

    • Free-floating sperm… I think that’s how Linda Littlefield got knocked up in high school. At least that’s what she told her mom.

      Reply

      • If I’d gotten knocked up in high school, it would have been a miracle and I would, in fact, be famous. But I would have sworn up and down I was being a surrogate for somebody.

      • If I’d gotten knocked up in high school, it would have been a miracle and I would, in fact, be famous. But I would have sworn up and down I was being a surrogate for somebody.

    • Free-floating sperm… I think that’s how Linda Littlefield got knocked up in high school. At least that’s what she told her mom.

      Reply

  3. Not that it helps any, but I’m tired of trying not to get pregnant.
    Not that it’s such a stretch, what with all that free-floating sperm in my atmosphere.

    Reply

  4. Free-floating sperm… I think that’s how Linda Littlefield got knocked up in high school. At least that’s what she told her mom.

    Reply

  5. If I’d gotten knocked up in high school, it would have been a miracle and I would, in fact, be famous. But I would have sworn up and down I was being a surrogate for somebody.

    Reply

  6. I think you and Damon need to pull the lion to the side, explain how you guys are doing your bit but that he needs get with the program and quit slacking off.
    It’s so hard to get good lions these days.

    Reply

  7. I think you and Damon need to pull the lion to the side, explain how you guys are doing your bit but that he needs get with the program and quit slacking off.
    It’s so hard to get good lions these days.

    Reply

  8. I think you and Damon need to pull the lion to the side, explain how you guys are doing your bit but that he needs get with the program and quit slacking off.
    It’s so hard to get good lions these days.

    Reply

  9. It does suck. But that reply made me laugh.

    Reply

  10. Fortunately, we have an excellent lion. Maybe he needs to have a talk with us.

    Reply

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