Re-entry

I’ve been gone for so long. I’m trying to loop back and pick up on all the Friendly threads I love so much. I’m sure I’ve missed a ton of stories I would have loved to read, and that’s my loss for sure.

Nothing outrageous happened to take me away. Our insurance funding for our temporary housing ran out and we decamped to Florida to stay with my folks for a while. Good times were had by all. Actually, beautiful times were had by all. Then back to New York, and shortly after back to work. All along I’ve been telling stories in my head that just never made it to the computer. Now I’m back and promising myself — despite the mobius strip of a to-do list — that I’m going to continue here.

Now back at home I think this is our new normal. Our apartment still isn’t repaired, but it’s on its way. I’m working. I think the outrageous wash of post-natal hormones has stabilized. I’m still feeling swoops of big baby love, but I’m less likely to lose a block of six hours or so because I’m staring — mesmerized.

Alden continues to unfold his personality for us. He’s mostly a little Buddha, fat, smiley and content. I swear he will never crawl or even push up because when we roll him over for “tummy time” he just happily sucks on his fist. There is not a shred of ambition in this baby. When I deeply examine my own desires and expectations I discover that… I don’t really care. He’ll do things when he does. I know I’ll miss the bitty baby when he’s gone, so he can stick around as long as he likes. He’s also flashing around my DNA by sometimes fussing until we just put him down and leave him alone. And then he’s happy. Babies need alone time too, I guess. He’s got an ongoing conversation with the pattern on his crib linens. It must be novel to him, as he spends almost no time there. He’s still sleeping with us, sometimes in his co-sleeper and sometimes just plunked right in the bed. Because he is dedicated to his meals, I have even twice awoken to find him nursing. He just shimmied on over and latched on. So I guess there is one shred of ambition. That’s why he weighs almost 14 pounds now.

There will be lots more. For now, I offer you what makes me want to stare for six hours at a time:

140 responses to this post.

  1. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  2. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

      Reply

  3. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  4. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  5. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  6. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  7. Unknown's avatar

    He’s just so beautiful, no wonder you’re staring. And I want to know where you put in the order for a baby who wants to spend alone time in his crib!!

    Reply

  8. Unknown's avatar
  9. Unknown's avatar
  10. Unknown's avatar
  11. Unknown's avatar
  12. Unknown's avatar
  13. Unknown's avatar
  14. Unknown's avatar
  15. jaysaint's avatar

    Thank you.
    And isn’t that funny? Just this morning he was giving me the “EhEhEhEh” of discontent. Nursing, walking, singing and playing all kind of worked, but not really. I laid him on a quilt 15 minutes ago so I could go brush my teeth and he’s been clam happy every since. Thank goodness he’s so smiley and eye-contacty, or that kind of thing would worry me.

    Reply

  16. jaysaint's avatar

    Thank you.

    Reply

  17. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  18. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  19. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  20. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  21. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  22. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  23. Unknown's avatar

    You guys cook good! He’s a sweetie.
    I like the picture, it makes it look like he’d flying through the air to give someone a karate kick in his sleep. That’s probably why he enjoys his “me” time. He’s in training.

    Reply

  24. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  25. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
      As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
      I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

      Reply

  26. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  27. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  28. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  29. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  30. Unknown's avatar

    How did you find the “be by myself” button on that baby? My baby didn’t come with one!
    He’s so beautiful! What a sweet little dreamer. Oh, now I’m getting the “must have a new baby” agony again.

    Reply

  31. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  32. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

    • jaysaint's avatar

      Thank you.
      Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

      Reply

  33. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  34. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  35. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  36. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  37. Unknown's avatar

    God, he’s beautiful.
    That sleep-nursing thing is the one thing that makes me envious of singleton moms. I tried nursing in bed once or twice, but just never could get the hang of where everyone was supposed to go.

    Reply

  38. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  39. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  40. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  41. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  42. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  43. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  44. Unknown's avatar

    Jebus, that’s a beautiful boy.

    Reply

  45. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  46. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  47. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  48. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  49. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  50. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  51. Unknown's avatar

    I’m greedy… the one picture just makes me want more. 🙂 He’s just adorable.

    Reply

  52. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  53. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  54. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  55. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  56. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  57. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  58. Unknown's avatar

    Dang, he’s cute.

    Reply

  59. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  60. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  61. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  62. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  63. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  64. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  65. Unknown's avatar

    if he is happily sucking on his fist while on his tummy, hes doing great. my girls would scream like you were trying to kill them if you put them on their tummies. I could stare at that little guy for quite a while if he always looks like that when sleeping. Shannon is 18 months old now and wont sit still for much of the snuggling, but sometimes we wait until she is asleep and fight over who gets to snuggle her.

    Reply

  66. jaysaint's avatar

    Thank you! He’s quite the little muffin. Ninja muffin.

    Reply

  67. jaysaint's avatar

    I already have that! I mean, I’m not going to lose my head. But I already miss the newborn.
    As for the “be by myself” button… He’s hilarious. He doesn’t so much cry, usually, as yell. “Meh! Meh! Eh! Eh!” I give up and lay him down and he just chills right out. Then I get the big, gummy smile.
    I think he inherited it from me. My mom says when I was little she would play with me sometimes and get the feeling I was just tolerating her.

    Reply

  68. jaysaint's avatar

    Thank you.
    Sleep nursing was really hard for us at first, even with just the one baby. I told our lactation consultant I wanted to do it and she just laughed at me and told me I needed to get a grip. She was right. It took me two months to get it, and I still don’t have it down cold.

    Reply

  69. jaysaint's avatar

    Why thank you.

    Reply

  70. jaysaint's avatar

    Pictures of my baby you say? Oh, if you insist 🙂 Next post will feature more adorable-ness.

    Reply

  71. jaysaint's avatar

    That means a lot coming from an expert on adorable little boys.

    Reply

  72. jaysaint's avatar

    Oh man, I can totally imagine having those fights. I’m so glad Damon can’t breast feed!

    Reply

  73. Unknown's avatar

    My adorable little boy is now a cute big kid who is too heavy for me to pick up.
    Enjoy it while it lasts, sista.

    Reply

  74. jaysaint's avatar

    Oh man, it’s a good thing they keep coming up with new, cute stuff or I would never survive it.

    Reply

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