A Different View of Me

Left to fend for myself for dinner, with no groceries in the house, I did what I often do. I ordered delivery. We’ve got menus for every which way of the food spectrum, but most of the time I fall back on Chinese.

Tonight I answered the door wearing a magenta pajama top decorated with Russian dolls and bright teal pajama bottoms decorated with horses and cowboys. I have no earthly idea what my hair was doing. It occurs to me that I wouldn’t answer the door for my best friend dressed like that. I would at least run my fingers through my hair. No one ever sees me like the Chinese delivery guy does. Even Damon. At least I have the tiniest amount of dignity, and it will enter my mind to wonder if I look weird when he walks in. But the Chinese delivery guy? No worries! With the exception of making sure that I’m not showing any girl bits, I don’t give it even a first thought. Give me another year and that may fade out too. I do tip well. I hope that makes a difference to him.

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10 responses to this post.

  1. That little breakfast joint I go to? The one with the eggs benedict? Those poor people see me right after I’ve awakened, let the dog out, and put on whatever clothes are on top. Before I brush my teeth. Before I comb my hair. With whatever’s left of my eyebrows from the day before.
    When I go like that, I go at 7:30, because I figure nobody with good sense will be out for me to run into.
    Until a few weeks ago. I was making my getaway when I heard a familiar voice say, “Is that Susan?” To her credit, Stacey didn’t say “OMIGOD. Is that Susan?!”
    Stacey, you might recall, always looks fresh and pretty.
    I very nearly responded, “No, no, it’s not. Good day to you.”
    Stacey and Nicole are now the only people in Dekalb County who have seen me without lipstick. I don’t think Stacey’s speaking to me anymore because she’s horrified.

    Reply

  2. That little breakfast joint I go to? The one with the eggs benedict? Those poor people see me right after I’ve awakened, let the dog out, and put on whatever clothes are on top. Before I brush my teeth. Before I comb my hair. With whatever’s left of my eyebrows from the day before.
    When I go like that, I go at 7:30, because I figure nobody with good sense will be out for me to run into.
    Until a few weeks ago. I was making my getaway when I heard a familiar voice say, “Is that Susan?” To her credit, Stacey didn’t say “OMIGOD. Is that Susan?!”
    Stacey, you might recall, always looks fresh and pretty.
    I very nearly responded, “No, no, it’s not. Good day to you.”
    Stacey and Nicole are now the only people in Dekalb County who have seen me without lipstick. I don’t think Stacey’s speaking to me anymore because she’s horrified.

    Reply

  3. That little breakfast joint I go to? The one with the eggs benedict? Those poor people see me right after I’ve awakened, let the dog out, and put on whatever clothes are on top. Before I brush my teeth. Before I comb my hair. With whatever’s left of my eyebrows from the day before.
    When I go like that, I go at 7:30, because I figure nobody with good sense will be out for me to run into.
    Until a few weeks ago. I was making my getaway when I heard a familiar voice say, “Is that Susan?” To her credit, Stacey didn’t say “OMIGOD. Is that Susan?!”
    Stacey, you might recall, always looks fresh and pretty.
    I very nearly responded, “No, no, it’s not. Good day to you.”
    Stacey and Nicole are now the only people in Dekalb County who have seen me without lipstick. I don’t think Stacey’s speaking to me anymore because she’s horrified.

    Reply

  4. That little breakfast joint I go to? The one with the eggs benedict? Those poor people see me right after I’ve awakened, let the dog out, and put on whatever clothes are on top. Before I brush my teeth. Before I comb my hair. With whatever’s left of my eyebrows from the day before.
    When I go like that, I go at 7:30, because I figure nobody with good sense will be out for me to run into.
    Until a few weeks ago. I was making my getaway when I heard a familiar voice say, “Is that Susan?” To her credit, Stacey didn’t say “OMIGOD. Is that Susan?!”
    Stacey, you might recall, always looks fresh and pretty.
    I very nearly responded, “No, no, it’s not. Good day to you.”
    Stacey and Nicole are now the only people in Dekalb County who have seen me without lipstick. I don’t think Stacey’s speaking to me anymore because she’s horrified.

    Reply

  5. That little breakfast joint I go to? The one with the eggs benedict? Those poor people see me right after I’ve awakened, let the dog out, and put on whatever clothes are on top. Before I brush my teeth. Before I comb my hair. With whatever’s left of my eyebrows from the day before.
    When I go like that, I go at 7:30, because I figure nobody with good sense will be out for me to run into.
    Until a few weeks ago. I was making my getaway when I heard a familiar voice say, “Is that Susan?” To her credit, Stacey didn’t say “OMIGOD. Is that Susan?!”
    Stacey, you might recall, always looks fresh and pretty.
    I very nearly responded, “No, no, it’s not. Good day to you.”
    Stacey and Nicole are now the only people in Dekalb County who have seen me without lipstick. I don’t think Stacey’s speaking to me anymore because she’s horrified.

    Reply

  6. In my old apartment, I once answered my door in a dress that I threw on but was unzipped in the back, because I thought it was a salesperson that I could shoo away.
    It was a delivery guy with a package I needed to sign for and no pen. I had to back all the way down my hallway to get a pen. He must have thought I was insane.

    Reply

  7. In my old apartment, I once answered my door in a dress that I threw on but was unzipped in the back, because I thought it was a salesperson that I could shoo away.
    It was a delivery guy with a package I needed to sign for and no pen. I had to back all the way down my hallway to get a pen. He must have thought I was insane.

    Reply

  8. In my old apartment, I once answered my door in a dress that I threw on but was unzipped in the back, because I thought it was a salesperson that I could shoo away.
    It was a delivery guy with a package I needed to sign for and no pen. I had to back all the way down my hallway to get a pen. He must have thought I was insane.

    Reply

  9. In my old apartment, I once answered my door in a dress that I threw on but was unzipped in the back, because I thought it was a salesperson that I could shoo away.
    It was a delivery guy with a package I needed to sign for and no pen. I had to back all the way down my hallway to get a pen. He must have thought I was insane.

    Reply

  10. In my old apartment, I once answered my door in a dress that I threw on but was unzipped in the back, because I thought it was a salesperson that I could shoo away.
    It was a delivery guy with a package I needed to sign for and no pen. I had to back all the way down my hallway to get a pen. He must have thought I was insane.

    Reply

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