Oh, And

Something else I’ve abandoned in 2010… all my general parenting/baby books went on PaperbackSwap. I found them frequently useful and sometimes reassuring. I’m certainly not above good advice. The truth is, though, that mostly I read them and then cherry picked what I found there to support doing what I wanted to do anyway. I’ll continue to read issue- or age-specific books. I love research. I can’t wait to read Nurture Shock. But for the most part I’m content to do my own thing, influenced by friends and fellow parents whose opinion I trust.

I remembered this morning the little feeding chart I made when Alden was a newborn. What side, what time, I think I even listed diaper changes. When I took Elliot for his first checkup and the nurse asked how often he was eating I said, “Often. Um, I don’t really know. I mean, whenever he wants to. He really likes to nurse.”

I thought we were so laid back with Alden, but we’re setting a new standard of “Meh” with Elliot. I still worry, mostly about SIDS, but it’s not as sharp a sensation. One good outcome makes you expect another, I suppose.

I do have to confess that a few times I have entirely forgotten Elliot, which makes me laugh and then makes me feel queasy. The first time we were at the playground — me, Damon, the kids and my mom. I was sitting on a bench next to the stroller holding a sleeping Elliot. Alden and the other grownups had migrated to the other side of the playground and then suddenly there were some cute slide shenanigans. I grabbed the video camera and it wasn’t until I was sitting on the ground in front of the slide that I remembered I’d left Elliot behind. Ha ha ha. Eek. Another time my mom came to my office so we could have lunch together and brought Elliot so he could nurse. I drove us to a restaurant and was at the front door before I remembered my very own baby in his car seat. Granted, the door was about 10 feet away from the car. But I can’t deny that few seconds of forgetting. I wasn’t able to laugh that one off — too close to tragic stories we’ve all read. I didn’t even have the distraction of Alden to blame. I really hope I’m not the only parent who does this oh-so occasionally. If I am, then I should definitely have hung on to those books.

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8 responses to this post.

  1. My mom left me on the department store checkout counter once and didn’t realize until she’d gotten all the shopping bags into our car. I still feel it’s a minor triumph to make it out the front door with everything I planned to bring. Organizing life with two children is a formidable task.

    Reply

  2. My mom left me on the department store checkout counter once and didn’t realize until she’d gotten all the shopping bags into our car. I still feel it’s a minor triumph to make it out the front door with everything I planned to bring. Organizing life with two children is a formidable task.

    Reply

    • It’s not the same as forgetting, but it amazes me when I remember that my mom used to drop me off in the toy section at the department store and then go do her thing. I just got semi-scolded at Target for letting Alden hang out at one end of an aisle while I was at the other. Give me a break!

      Reply

  3. There was a long thread about this once on the Agitator, and how so many of those parents were good, attentive parents who had a moment of blankness. Several people talked about how they could never do that, and a lot of parents who HAD done it chimed in to say that it’s more common than you’d think. I have not personally done it, but you aren’t the first. Maybe this scare though will help it not happen again. I know that had to be frightening.

    Reply

  4. There was a long thread about this once on the Agitator, and how so many of those parents were good, attentive parents who had a moment of blankness. Several people talked about how they could never do that, and a lot of parents who HAD done it chimed in to say that it’s more common than you’d think. I have not personally done it, but you aren’t the first. Maybe this scare though will help it not happen again. I know that had to be frightening.

    Reply

    • Weirdly, it scares me more the more distance I get. I’m having a hard time letting it go. Going back to HGTV has been so rough, even though I love it. The emotional stuff I expected, but the operational part is just killing me. I forget or lose something every day. But really, it’s not to much to ask of me to ensure that thing isn’t the baby.

      Reply

  5. It’s not the same as forgetting, but it amazes me when I remember that my mom used to drop me off in the toy section at the department store and then go do her thing. I just got semi-scolded at Target for letting Alden hang out at one end of an aisle while I was at the other. Give me a break!

    Reply

  6. Weirdly, it scares me more the more distance I get. I’m having a hard time letting it go. Going back to HGTV has been so rough, even though I love it. The emotional stuff I expected, but the operational part is just killing me. I forget or lose something every day. But really, it’s not to much to ask of me to ensure that thing isn’t the baby.

    Reply

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