jaysaint Getting it all down on paper…

So my personal laptop is broken. The power cord took too hard a yank and now the power isn’t reaching the machine. I feel asea because I don’t know anyone who can give me a recommendation. I found a repair place that seems good, but pretty expensive. I also found some repair services on Craig’s List. I was all set to take it to some guy who I talked to who seemed to understand the problem. And then I cancelled when I realized that I was about to hand my laptop to a total stranger. I feel pretty sure that he’s legit. But is pretty sure good enough to walk away and leave something worth more than $1000 behind? I don’t kow about that. How do I find someone to fix my freaking computer??? Fortunately my work laptop does double duty just fine.

I’m happily bustling around the apartment, cleaning, working, cooking… I should be in fair shape by the time Damon gets here. Whether or not I go to the East Village Halloween parade is still up in the air. Inertia may have me securely in its grip. But it’s a good kind of inertia, I feel content.

At this moment I’ve taken a cookies and ‘Mary Poppins’ break. I’ll have to be careful or I’ll eat all the cookies I made yesteday, which wasn’t my original intention.

How could you not love Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews?

I just called my grandmother (or step-grandmother, to be precise) for a little chat. She asked if Damon was coming home tomorrow night and I told her he was. She asked if I was going to put on a costume and I told her I was debating that.

I did think it would be funny if he came home and I was in a costume.

But then she says, “You have to be something sexy.” And I say, “I think I have a clown suit in my closet.” And she says, “No clown! Sexy!”

And I had this sense of dislocation. Is my grandma telling me to be sexy? I don’t know that my grandpa would have condoned this line of advice. But I thought it was funny. I still may wear the clown suit, which I also think would be funny. And easy. And comfortable, since I’ll probably fall asleep waiting for him.

I hate to admit that part of the reason I’m updating so much today is that I feel a little bit chilled, and it’s so nice with my warm little computer snuggled up in my lap. Every time I walk by it I look for an excuse to use it.

I’m indulging the cold-weather feeling by watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ It’s colorized, but I can’t help that. It’s the only one I’ve got. Jimmy Stewart. My goodness. Then and now, he might be my number one movie hearthrob.

I’ve baked some cookies and they’re cooling on the stove. I’m wearing flannel pants. Perhaps I’ll even take a nap after I see how everyone’s life would be different if it weren’t for George Bailey. Wasn’t there a Seinfeld where George got the same treatment, and he saw the everyone would have been much better off without him?

Sarah turns 30 today! I think that wraps up the 20s for me. All of my friends have bumped up into our shiny new decade. I was happy and relieved to hit 30 — it felt good to get another 10-year section that I could start with a clean slate. I wish I were in Atlanta today to take her to Sheba for dinner.

I’m so grateful to be diving into the weekend. The week did progressively get better, and today at work was downright fine. It’s difficult to get around that my boss pretty much determines my emotional temperature at the office. If she’s being rough with me, it’s hard for me to maintain equilibrium.

But now it’s Friday night. I did that thing where I ate an early dinner and fell asleep. And now it’s 12:30am and I’m fairly well awake. I did this same thing last weekend and wound up disoriented. So this time I’ll try to right my body clock in the morning.

I don’t have anything planned for the weekend except cleaning up in preparation for Damon’s arrival. I don’t pretend that the apartment will be a showplace by Sunday night, but it will be tidy and welcoming. I’m happy and relieved he’ll finally be home. But I’m also bracing myself for the radical change in my lifestyle. I subside into silence deeply and easily when I’m alone and it’s always startling when I’m pulled back into noise and action that I didn’t instigate.

Here’s a foolish thought: I saw an ad for an adults-only haunted house this weekend, and I want to go. It’s not adults-only in the XXX sense, just, I guess, very scary. And since I’m the kind of person who can’t bear to watch horror movies because my ability to suspend disbelief is so strong…. Makes perfect sense. I’m just curious. Maybe I’ll see if I can get someone to go on Sunday night so that Damon will be there in the wee hours and he can peel me off the ceiling if needed.

I’m watching I, Claudius. I’ve always loved this, but did I never notice before how this series borders on mysogyny? There’s not a single powerful woman in this series who isn’t utterly corrupt and evil. The best woman is — brace yourself — a hooker with a heart of gold.

What I’m watching: I, Claudius part 5
What I’m reading: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne