jaysaint Getting it all down on paper…

So much has happened this week.

Was it just yesterday that we got the first phone call? I think it was. I came home to hear: Hi there, and congratulations! You’ve been approved by our agency to adopt an infant under 12 months old with no known medical issues.

(There are various levels of approval, all having to do with age, that determine how young a kid you can get.

CCAI (Get used to that acronym, it’s our adoption agency) emailed us a packet of get-started documents and some contracts to sign. I had them notarized today and unless work runs right over me tomorrow I’ll get them to the post office.

I also did the intake interview with our social work agency today, and we’ll have our first visit scheduled by early next week.

For the third time so far I’ve answered the questions:
— Have you ever been arrested?
— Have you ever been treated for drugs or alcohol?
— Have you ever received psychiatric treatment?
— Have you had any surgery, been hospitalized or do you take any perscription medicine?
— Have you ever been accused of child abuse or neglect?

Thank the heavens that I was able to give an honest “no” to all of the above (minor surgery like tonsils and wisdom teeth can be omitted.) They tell you that a “yes” doesn’t mean you’re definitely eliminated, but I wouldn’t want to make a bet on that. China is hugely (appropriately) protective of these babies and the official policy seems to be “Take No Chances.”

Remind me that I think it’s all appropriate and justified when I’m trying to get fingerprint and other records from four different states, as well as elaborately certified and notarized financial and personal documents and, for all I know, birth certificates for our cats and lie detector tests on dead ancestors.

Does that sound like complaining? It’s not. I’m over the moon. I wonder how long I can subsist on the fantasy of “Gotcha Day.” (That’s another one to remember.)

I have one of those cases of fatigue that I cannot explain. I think it may be because I just ate so much cake. Is it possible this is a massive sugar crash? I think maybe so. Which is all to the good, really, because I have a huge day at work tomorrow and I’m fairly sure I’ll be asleep by 10:30 tonight.

Maybe I can get one more TiVo show in before I drift away.

Three weekends ago I was in San Jose.
Two weekends ago I was in Louisville.
One weekend ago I was in New Orleans.

Today I am in my pajamas on my couch, and here I shall stay.

All three of those trips were great, and well worth the time and money invested. And yet I feared that my neighbors were going to call the cops when they saw me going in my front door, as they’d think a stranger was breaking into Damon’s apartment.

It’s not even noon and I’ve gotten a nice batch of practical stuff done. Blah blah blah home study, blah blah blah computer cleanup, blah blah blah emails answered. Now it’s time to be decadent.

At our work cafe, they sell chocolate cupcakes filled with Nutella or Fluff. I am sad to report I have no such thing here. So I will likely settle for as much spaghetti as I can stuff into my face. I’ll do that while watching movies. Everything Is Illuminated is on deck. And then I’m going to paint my toenails purple. Perhaps afterward I will give myself a facial. By that time Damon will be headed home from work and maybe I can beg him into bringing me a cupcake.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
On the nightstand: The Phrase That Launched 1,000 Ships by Nigel Rees

I have been thinking a lot today about a pregnant woman I don’t know. I’ll actually never know her, and never know anything about her. The thing that makes her different from a million other pregnant women I’ll never know is that this one is carrying my daughter around.

Damon and I submitted our application yesterday to adopt a baby from China.

Some of you have been patient and supportive as we worked through this decision under the cover of a filter here on LJ. So I thank you publicly, as I have done so in my head many times.

Most of our good friends have been told, so now this conversation can be public.

If anyone has a question, I’m happy to answer. And if anyone thinks they might find this subject tiresome, I give you my sympathy. I expect I’ll have a lot to say about it going forward.

I’m delighted to say that Damon and I have just about finished our application to Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI going forward).

I did visit my doctor last week, and she outlined the tests she’d like to do. And then at my request she outlined the possible treatments, depending on what the tests showed. And I sat in her chair feeling smaller and smaller and smaller. When I got back to the office I called Damon and related her recommendations. He was quiet for a moment and then said, “Why don’t we adopt?” The wave of relief I felt was all the self examination I needed.

We did plenty of research. It seems there are lots and lots of adoption agencies. Who knew? I won’t bore you with all our deciding factors, but CCAI was a good fit for us and I had a lovely conversation with them today that once again confirmed that we made the right choice.

This will be a long process, probably about a year and a half. But the train is leaving the station, and that’s good enough for me.

I’m sure there will be a lot more for me to say. For example, I have a list of medical conditions and we’re supposed to check off anything we’d be willing to accept. I have HUGE mental hurdles to jump over to complete this document. I mean, how can I look at this information and say, “This baby’s problems disqualify her from being our daughter.” I wouldn’t get to make that kind of decision if I were pregnant. We have all the advantages. They have no advantages. And we’re supposed to decide which of their problems we’re willing to deal with. I’m not intending to be a hero, just a parent, but this still doesn’t sit well.

At some point soon I’ll take this out from behind the filter. I just want to tell a few more friends this week before I go more public. I supposed I still lock the entries as Friends only though, as I don’t intend to tell work any time soon.