Brace Yourselves!

I have an advance copy of the REDBOOK starring my behind. I haven’t had a chance to ask our art director yet but either I’ve been airbrushed or the lighting was done by a magician. I mean, my skin looks perfect. Parfait, even.

My butt, however, looks pretty darn big. Which, you know, is not news to me. So that’s fine.

My hair is no bueno.

And now, unrelatedly, is a meme taken from Nolagrl

What’s your name spelt backwards?:
Naillij

What did you do last night?:
Worked late and then slept poorly.

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Virus protection freeware

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:
I don’t understand why anyone would say ‘yes’ to this.

Last time you swam in a pool?
Last November in Kauai.

What are you wearing?
powder blue track pants and a guinea tee (which I’m more comfortable typing, being Italian, than the more popular ‘wife beater’)

How many cars have you driven around?
There is no one less interested in cars than I am, but I’ll try. My first car was a red Nissan Stanza. My second was tan with some fun little stripes. After that I drove a bright yellow Ford Festiva. Later I had a Buick something or other. The only car I ever loved was my 1990 Saab hatchback. My heart still yearns for that car. Later I had a Taurus. Mostly I’ve driven whatever was cheap and handy.

Type of music you dislike most?
Screamy metal.

Are you registered to vote?
Yes.

Do you have cable?
Yes, and TiVo.

What kind of computer do you use?
Compac Presario at home, Dell Latitude and a Mac at work.

Ever made a prank phone call?
I’m sure I have, although I can’t conjur details.

You like anyone right now?
Oh for sure.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Not for a million bazillion dollars. It’s possible I would let someone shoot me first.

Furthest place you ever traveled?
Sudan, or maybe Kauai. I’m not sure of the mileage.

What’s your favorite comic strip?
I loved Bloom County.

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:
yes

Shower, morning or night?
Morning and at the gym. I aspire to be a night showerer, but I just can’t seem to pull it off.

Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
A History of Violence. I’m behind on my movie watching.

Favorite pizza toppings?
tomatoes, green olives, pineapple, garlic, mushrooms. Basically, I’m happy with any veggie topping. I’m least interested in peppers, though.

Chips or popcorn?
I love chips, but don’t eat much of either.

What cell phone provider do you have?
Sprint (home) and Verizon (work)

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Why would you smoke a peanut shell?

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Hardly

Orange juice or apple?
Orange. But I prefer cranberry mixes (not juice drink) or grapefruit.

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
My super-fun friend Mary.

Favorite chocolate bar?
Scharfen-Barger (sp?) dark chocolate

Who is your longest friend and how long?
Aside from aquaintancy friends from as far back as early grade school, my longest-standing friend is my best friend Mick. We met when I was 15, which means we’ve been friends for 20 years.

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I am sad to say I can’t remember the last time I ate a tomato that was grown by someone I know. But I do buy heirloom tomatoes from local farms every week, which are pretty delicious.

Have you ever won a trophy?
I don’t think so.

Favorite arcade game?
Arkanoid

Ever ordered from an infomercial?
No.

Sprite or 7-UP?
Neither.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
Oh yes, both.

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?
I don’t remember the last time I was in Walgreens, but pretzels or allergy medicine would be a good guess.

Ever thrown up in public?
No, thank goodness.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
I would not trade my own true love for many millions.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in intense infatuation at first sight.

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?
I don’t think I’m qualified to answer.

Did you have long hair as a young kid?
Very

What message is on your voicemail machine?
My voicemail is always very straight forward. Something along the lines of “You’ve reached Jillian. Please leave a message.” For work I just add my last name and title.

Where would you like to go right now?
To bed, but I’m not sleepy.

What’s the name of your pet?
My darling Zoe, who I’ve had for 15 years and our new kid Fat Sam.

What kind of backpack do you have, and what’s in it?
I don’t have a backpack.

What do you think about most?
Chinese babies and editorial calendars.

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15 responses to this post.

  1. Um, I licked a battery.
    I wouldn’t do it for years despite knowing it was supposed to do something, and finally one day after ages of my guy friends trying to get me to do it (it had become a dumb joke by then), I was home alone and changing the battery in the Caller ID (back when it was a separate box from the phone–this has been years). I started to put the new battery in, glanced around furtively, and licked it. I was convinced they’d find me dead on the floor with a battery in my hand and know what happened, but it was only temporarily jarring.

    Reply

  2. Um, I licked a battery.
    I wouldn’t do it for years despite knowing it was supposed to do something, and finally one day after ages of my guy friends trying to get me to do it (it had become a dumb joke by then), I was home alone and changing the battery in the Caller ID (back when it was a separate box from the phone–this has been years). I started to put the new battery in, glanced around furtively, and licked it. I was convinced they’d find me dead on the floor with a battery in my hand and know what happened, but it was only temporarily jarring.

    Reply

    • This is fascinating. You must have more friends than I do. I’ve never even heard of battery licking as a thing one might do. So it gives you a shock?

      Reply

      • I have always had a lot of male friends, including when I was in middle school. It would never occur to a girl to lick a battery, much less an adult female. As grownups they were just all joking about it once and I said, “I would never lick a battery.” It then became their mission to get me to do it. It took about ten more years before I gave in.
        Do you have metal fillings? It’s along the lines of biting aluminum foil on a filling. (Although if you haven’t done that, I don’t recommend it.) Less of a shock than a strange metallic jolt, I guess?

      • I have always had a lot of male friends, including when I was in middle school. It would never occur to a girl to lick a battery, much less an adult female. As grownups they were just all joking about it once and I said, “I would never lick a battery.” It then became their mission to get me to do it. It took about ten more years before I gave in.
        Do you have metal fillings? It’s along the lines of biting aluminum foil on a filling. (Although if you haven’t done that, I don’t recommend it.) Less of a shock than a strange metallic jolt, I guess?

    • This is fascinating. You must have more friends than I do. I’ve never even heard of battery licking as a thing one might do. So it gives you a shock?

      Reply

  3. Um, I licked a battery.
    I wouldn’t do it for years despite knowing it was supposed to do something, and finally one day after ages of my guy friends trying to get me to do it (it had become a dumb joke by then), I was home alone and changing the battery in the Caller ID (back when it was a separate box from the phone–this has been years). I started to put the new battery in, glanced around furtively, and licked it. I was convinced they’d find me dead on the floor with a battery in my hand and know what happened, but it was only temporarily jarring.

    Reply

  4. I salute you. You are indeed a brave woman to have your posterior be the subject of scrutiny in a national magazine. I am sure it is exemplary among its peers. And I am also sure that were it me, they’d need to print across the fold.

    Reply

  5. I salute you. You are indeed a brave woman to have your posterior be the subject of scrutiny in a national magazine. I am sure it is exemplary among its peers. And I am also sure that were it me, they’d need to print across the fold.

    Reply

    • Believe me, I was counting on the skill of a professional fashion photographer. And I’m not so much brave as greedy. The booking editor stood in my door singing, “You can keeeeep the jeeeeans!” That was all it took to get me to sign up.

      Reply

    • Believe me, I was counting on the skill of a professional fashion photographer. And I’m not so much brave as greedy. The booking editor stood in my door singing, “You can keeeeep the jeeeeans!” That was all it took to get me to sign up.

      Reply

  6. I salute you. You are indeed a brave woman to have your posterior be the subject of scrutiny in a national magazine. I am sure it is exemplary among its peers. And I am also sure that were it me, they’d need to print across the fold.

    Reply

  7. This is fascinating. You must have more friends than I do. I’ve never even heard of battery licking as a thing one might do. So it gives you a shock?

    Reply

  8. Believe me, I was counting on the skill of a professional fashion photographer. And I’m not so much brave as greedy. The booking editor stood in my door singing, “You can keeeeep the jeeeeans!” That was all it took to get me to sign up.

    Reply

  9. I have always had a lot of male friends, including when I was in middle school. It would never occur to a girl to lick a battery, much less an adult female. As grownups they were just all joking about it once and I said, “I would never lick a battery.” It then became their mission to get me to do it. It took about ten more years before I gave in.
    Do you have metal fillings? It’s along the lines of biting aluminum foil on a filling. (Although if you haven’t done that, I don’t recommend it.) Less of a shock than a strange metallic jolt, I guess?

    Reply

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