Open Letter Re: Special Delivery Search Term

To the person who found this blog by searching “crush on my mailman”…

Do it! Seriously, make that mailman love you. You can do it. He wouldn’t come to your house every day if he wasn’t interested, right? I know that your long-term civic relationship makes it complicated, but surely you can face that down even if the worst happens. You cannot possibly make a bigger fool of yourself than I just did trying to sing a Julie Andrews lullabye to my baby. That was a travesty. Think on this: If you break up some day you can send yourself passionate love letters (you know he’ll be reading) and extravagant gifts. What could be more delicious that making your ex hand-deliver tokens from your new love?

Unless you are part of a monogamous relationship. To you I say…

Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. When this all inevitable devolves into recriminations and regrets you will still have to see that guy every. damn. day. Face it, you’ll have to move. You don’t need that.



2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mick on September 18, 2011 at 9:08 am

    I don’t know about this. Federal holidays would become so bittersweet.


  2. Posted by trope on September 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Beautiful, just beautiful!


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